wakey wakey hands off snakey
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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