Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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