thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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