That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
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The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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