the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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