I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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