She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize