i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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