I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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