Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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