I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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