I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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