I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize