yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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