Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize