i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize