Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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