I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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