I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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