im having a threesome with these popsicles
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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