Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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