Banned from zoo.
Again?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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