either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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