John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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