please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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