Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize