They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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