Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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