he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
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Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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