I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize