tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize