I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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