I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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