I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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