So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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