I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize