You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize