I think my vagina is haunted
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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