these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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