oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize