I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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