I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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