I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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