i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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