can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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