first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Even my vagina gasped.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize