I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
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Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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