I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize