listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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