she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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